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A Journey through Grief (7)

Posted on March 9, 2016 at 1:10 PM

The past couple of days have been a bit of a roller coaster. Thankfully after changing position all of your vitals stabilized. You were placed back on the Prisma machine as well as dialysis and have done fairly well. Your nurse Joanie threatened you to behave so maybe that’s why :-) . I spoke to Matthew, he got a 102 on his spelling test so he was very proud of himself. He also mentioned that he was pulled into the guidance office where the nurse and guidance counselor proceeded to question him as to why you are hospitalized. They made him really uncomfortable especially when he said he really didn’t know other than because you were sick. Anna, Nick and Jeanne all sound good and accordingly to our family have kept very busy.

First thing in the morning I called the school to express my dissatisfaction with them interrogating our children and I made my feelings clear. I’m pretty certain they will not be doing so again. You had some more visitors yesterday one of which was Jason from the Hollis Fire Department. He brought a bear that was fully dressed in Hollis FF gear with your nickname on the back of the jacket. Most of the day went fairly smoothly for you overall, your blood pressure stayed stable and you were slowly weaned to 60% oxygen. You only had one episode where your blood pressure dropped but you had two where it increased. We received more information about the EBay guy. His ham radio id contains the initials VX which stand for nerve gas so they are investing that further.

We had a rough night again last night, your vitals were fluctuating all over the place and the oxygen machine is turned back up to 80%. You’ve started getting blood spatter from your mouth around the vent, it lands all over your neck and face. I have a face cloth now that I clean you up with every time it happens, I just can’t stand to see you like that. The doctors said it’s because you now have a bleeding ulcer, so they’ve added a new medication to your list. Your poor body is enduring so much; I wish I could take it all away from you. I’d trade places with you in a heartbeat. Your bed has been changed and now sits much higher than before so now I have to reach up just to hold your hand. You have even more machines than before and the large room is getting quite cramped luckily I can at least have a small chair to sit in beside you. I’m terrified to leave your side so I sat beside you until 3:30am until I finally made myself get a couple hours sleep in the waiting room.

This morning your nurse told me that you started showing signs of arrhythmia ten minutes after I left the room. An EKG was ordered and confirmed the abnormal heart rhythm. Another medication has now been added to correct that issue. I spoke to the State Police and Public Health today to figure out what they are doing and if I should have the house professionally cleaned to ensure no one else comes in contact with any toxins. The State Police said the threat was too ambiguous to constitute a crime. Public Health said they are waiting for tests they ordered to come back as they do not want to collect anything from the house until they know what they are testing for. The Police Department in Ohio has supposedly questioned the guy already who denied any involvement in your illness.

I’m trying really hard Hun but I miss you so much, I miss your beautiful eyes, your touch. You need to get better so you can give me a hug. I really need one of your hugs!

 

Categories: A Journey Through Grief

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