Design Your Beautiful Life Coaching 

-Texts from Heaven 



This Can't be happening - A journey through grief (5)

Posted on March 3, 2016 at 9:50 AM

A swarm of hospital staff surrounded you as they lowered you from the ambulance. I managed to get beside you to hold your hand, to my surprise you squeezed mine so tightly. I felt your fear, your pain and I wished I could take it away. I stayed by you as we were taken to the ICU unit. Once there however you were taken into the room behind two very large glass doors and I was made to wait outside as they worked to get you connected to far too many machines. While I stood there I recounted all the things I had overheard in the ambulance. Your heart was working great without blood pressure meds, you were not completely sedated which is why you were gaging on the tube inserted into your throat and they’d be happy once you were there and connected something more stable. A doctor approached and startled me from my thoughts. He escorted me to the waiting room and started telling me how “sick” you were. (I guess I had “I’m stupid” on my forehead or something). He proceeded to tell me that if you did not start responding to the antibiotics and antiviral medications that you had roughly three days left. He began a barrage of questions. Had we been out of the country? Had we been in contact with anyone who had? Did we have birds? Did we have pets that were sick? The questions seemed to go on forever and all I wanted to do is get back beside you. I told him that you were an EMT and I had no idea what illnesses you had been around other than the family case of influenza earlier in the month. He continued on with what seemed like very random inquiries. Amidst all the questions however I remembered something strange that had happened to you recently. Two weeks prior you had received a threat from someone who purchased a book from you on Ebay. The threat was way out in left field, he was obviously crazy and what was even more strange is that he subsequently sent a second payment for it in the mail that you had to refund. Could he have sent something in the envelope to make you sick? I found myself speaking those thoughts to the doctor who was quickly on his way to discuss our conversation with a group of roughly seven doctors that had formed just outside your room. They looked in at you and spoke as if you were some sort of test subject. “Thirty two year old male, previously healthy other than the loss of his spleen, body deteriorating, not responding to treatment will die soon if we cannot determine the cause of his illness.” I could easily distinguish those that were interns and those that were intended to train them. One in particular stood out, he was loud, insensitive and oblivious to the fact that I was standing right beside them. My thoughts of asking permission to enter the room turned to “I’m going in” they’ll kick me out if they need to.

My heart sank as I approached the bed. You were completely sedated, had IVs in both arms and a tube down your throat. I pulled a chair up beside you, rested my head on your shoulder and held your hand. I told you we’d get through this and that I’d be right there with you every step of the way.


Categories: A Journey Through Grief

Post a Comment


Oops, you forgot something.


The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.


Reply jordan shoes
1:47 AM on August 24, 2021 
Thank you so much for giving everyone an exceptionally marvellous opportunity to discover important secrets from this website. It is usually very nice and as well , packed with a lot of fun for me and my office co-workers to search your blog the equivalent of 3 times weekly to read the latest stuff you will have. And indeed, we are usually amazed with all the unbelievable hints you serve. Some 1 areas in this article are in reality the best we have all had.
jordan shoes
Reply goyard
1:48 AM on August 24, 2021 
I have to point out my appreciation for your kindness for folks that really want help with this topic. Your special commitment to getting the solution up and down was pretty insightful and has surely enabled some individuals much like me to achieve their targets. Your entire invaluable guideline means this much a person like me and extremely more to my office colleagues. Many thanks; from everyone of us.
Reply jordan shoes
1:48 AM on August 24, 2021 
I am just writing to make you be aware of of the really good discovery our daughter developed going through your site. She realized a lot of things, not to mention what it's like to possess an ideal teaching mindset to let most people just learn certain complicated matters. You really did more than my expectations. I appreciate you for delivering those warm and helpful, trustworthy, edifying as well as easy guidance on the topic to Julie.
jordan shoes
Reply supreme hoodie
1:48 AM on August 24, 2021 
I really wanted to type a simple remark so as to express gratitude to you for the amazing steps you are posting on this site. My prolonged internet investigation has finally been rewarded with really good knowledge to talk about with my neighbours. I would say that many of us readers are definitely fortunate to live in a notable network with so many perfect individuals with interesting methods. I feel somewhat lucky to have seen your website and look forward to tons of more brilliant times reading here. Thanks a lot again for a lot of things.
supreme hoodie
Reply kyrie irving shoes
1:48 AM on August 24, 2021 
I have to voice my gratitude for your kindness in support of people who really need help on this important subject. Your very own dedication to getting the message throughout came to be definitely effective and has in every case permitted people like me to reach their objectives. Your entire useful report signifies so much a person like me and additionally to my peers. Warm regards; from each one of us.
kyrie irving shoes
Reply jordan shoes
1:48 AM on August 24, 2021 
I definitely wanted to write a simple comment to express gratitude to you for all the remarkable advice you are showing on this website. My particularly long internet investigation has at the end been compensated with excellent knowledge to talk about with my friends and classmates. I 'd assert that we visitors actually are truly blessed to dwell in a very good community with so many awesome individuals with useful ideas. I feel somewhat privileged to have seen your webpages and look forward to so many more fabulous minutes reading here. Thanks once again for all the details.
jordan shoes
Reply jordan 4
1:49 AM on August 24, 2021 
I and also my buddies were actually going through the nice recommendations found on your website and so then got a terrible feeling I never thanked the site owner for those techniques. The boys are actually so excited to learn them and already have absolutely been making the most of these things. Many thanks for getting simply helpful as well as for having this sort of fantastic information millions of individuals are really eager to understand about. My honest regret for not expressing gratitude to sooner.
jordan 4
Reply curry shoes
1:50 AM on August 24, 2021 
I wish to express some appreciation to you for rescuing me from this particular problem. Just after looking throughout the the net and meeting recommendations which are not beneficial, I assumed my entire life was well over. Living devoid of the strategies to the difficulties you have resolved all through this guideline is a crucial case, as well as those that might have badly damaged my career if I had not come across your web blog. Your personal knowledge and kindness in touching everything was crucial. I'm not sure what I would have done if I hadn't discovered such a thing like this. It's possible to at this moment relish my future. Thanks so much for the skilled and results-oriented guide. I will not hesitate to recommend your web site to anyone who requires guidelines about this subject matter.
curry shoes
Reply moncler
12:24 AM on August 27, 2021 
I as well as my pals ended up examining the best ideas located on the website while before long I had a terrible feeling I never expressed respect to the web blog owner for those strategies. My ladies happened to be certainly warmed to read them and have very much been making the most of these things. Thanks for turning out to be so helpful and also for picking these kinds of perfect subject areas millions of individuals are really needing to be aware of. My very own sincere regret for not saying thanks to you earlier.
Reply off white
12:25 AM on August 27, 2021 
Thanks so much for providing individuals with an extraordinarily terrific opportunity to check tips from this website. It's always very sweet and jam-packed with fun for me personally and my office fellow workers to search your web site at least thrice in a week to learn the fresh issues you have. Of course, I am just usually satisfied with the superb tactics you give. Selected 4 tips on this page are indeed the most efficient we've had.
off white
Reply kd 12
12:25 AM on August 27, 2021 
I want to show some thanks to this writer for bailing me out of this situation. Because of exploring throughout the online world and obtaining suggestions that were not beneficial, I believed my entire life was over. Being alive without the approaches to the issues you've solved all through your good post is a serious case, as well as those which might have in a negative way affected my entire career if I hadn't come across your blog post. Your main expertise and kindness in dealing with every item was invaluable. I am not sure what I would've done if I hadn't discovered such a subject like this. I can also at this point look forward to my future. Thank you very much for the high quality and sensible help. I will not be reluctant to propose your blog to anyone who would like tips on this problem.
kd 12
Reply bape
12:26 AM on August 27, 2021 
I truly wanted to construct a small comment to be able to appreciate you for all of the magnificent recommendations you are writing at this website. My long internet research has at the end been rewarded with high-quality knowledge to share with my family. I 'd point out that we visitors are definitely fortunate to live in a wonderful place with so many special professionals with very helpful solutions. I feel really grateful to have come across your entire webpage and look forward to plenty of more excellent times reading here. Thank you once more for all the details.
Reply hermes birkin
12:27 AM on August 27, 2021 
My husband and i felt so thankful when Peter managed to conclude his investigations through your precious recommendations he acquired when using the weblog. It is now and again perplexing to simply possibly be giving freely steps that many most people could have been selling. And now we grasp we need the website owner to be grateful to because of that. The illustrations you have made, the easy website navigation, the friendships you can help to create - it is most fabulous, and it's really assisting our son in addition to us reason why that matter is cool, and that is especially vital. Many thanks for everything!
hermes birkin
Reply bape
12:27 AM on August 27, 2021 
I am also writing to make you know what a nice discovery my child had viewing your site. She figured out several issues, which include how it is like to have an amazing giving character to make others quite simply learn about some complex things. You really surpassed our own expectations. Many thanks for presenting such interesting, trusted, revealing and as well as cool thoughts on your topic to Evelyn.
Reply off white clothing
12:28 AM on August 27, 2021 
I intended to compose you this very small note in order to thank you once again considering the beautiful tactics you have discussed above. It was so pretty open-handed of people like you to grant unreservedly just what a lot of people would have offered for sale as an e-book to earn some profit for themselves, notably now that you could possibly have tried it in case you desired. Those strategies as well acted like a great way to be sure that other people have the identical fervor just like mine to know the truth a great deal more when considering this matter. I'm sure there are many more pleasurable opportunities in the future for people who read carefully your blog post.
off white clothing
Reply lebron 17
12:28 AM on August 27, 2021 
Thanks for each of your hard work on this blog. My niece really loves working on research and it is obvious why. My spouse and i know all regarding the compelling mode you produce useful tips and hints via your web blog and as well as recommend participation from some other people on that area of interest while our simple princess has always been studying a lot of things. Take advantage of the rest of the year. You have been conducting a terrific job.
lebron 17
Reply supreme clothing
2:30 AM on August 30, 2021 
I must express my appreciation to you just for bailing me out of this crisis. After checking throughout the search engines and finding strategies that were not productive, I thought my entire life was well over. Existing minus the answers to the difficulties you've sorted out all through your website is a serious case, as well as the kind which might have badly affected my entire career if I had not noticed your blog. Your actual knowledge and kindness in dealing with almost everything was tremendous. I'm not sure what I would've done if I hadn't come upon such a stuff like this. I'm able to at this point relish my future. Thank you so much for this expert and sensible help. I won't be reluctant to refer your blog to anyone who wants and needs recommendations about this topic.
supreme clothing
Reply yeezys
2:32 AM on August 30, 2021 
I wanted to compose you a very little observation to finally thank you so much the moment again considering the splendid techniques you have contributed here. This has been really generous of you to supply without restraint precisely what most people would have marketed as an electronic book to help with making some money on their own, notably seeing that you could possibly have tried it in the event you wanted. Those ideas likewise worked to become a fantastic way to fully grasp someone else have the same fervor the same as my personal own to grasp a lot more concerning this matter. I am certain there are a lot more fun moments up front for people who examine your blog post.
Reply lebron shoes
2:32 AM on August 30, 2021 
I as well as my guys came examining the great things found on your web page and so the sudden developed an awful feeling I had not expressed respect to the website owner for those strategies. Most of the women happened to be for that reason glad to study them and have seriously been loving those things. I appreciate you for genuinely indeed accommodating and for obtaining certain high-quality tips millions of individuals are really desirous to be informed on. My very own honest apologies for not saying thanks to sooner.
lebron shoes
Reply lebron 18
2:33 AM on August 30, 2021 
I wanted to write a simple comment to be able to express gratitude to you for those precious ideas you are writing here. My rather long internet investigation has at the end been recognized with extremely good suggestions to go over with my family and friends. I 'd believe that most of us readers actually are undeniably fortunate to be in a perfect website with very many awesome professionals with very beneficial tips and hints. I feel quite fortunate to have seen the weblog and look forward to really more pleasurable minutes reading here. Thanks a lot again for a lot of things.
lebron 18